I completely underestimated the time and effort that went into running a blog. The ideas and content were there but it was the time it takes to write and maintain it that was the surprise to me.
My original idea was to spend my maternity leave looking after my girls and blogging about our experiences but I soon learnt that it wasn’t for me. Too much time was required either looking at my phone or my laptop and if I am honest that is not what I wanted to spend that precious time with my girls doing. Every outing was not enjoyed for what is was, a memory being made with my family, but instead I started to think of them in terms of blog content and that made me feel a little sad. Around the same time I also saw several ‘cartoon’ type posts on social media on how children can view their parents as always just staring at a smart phone or other device. At that point I deactivated my Facebook and stopped the blog. One word – liberating!
My maternity leave was about spending as much time with my babies as possible – without feeling the need to tell the world (well the one only person who probably read my blog) about it!
I have nothing but respect for the mum/dad bloggers out there who can find the time to fit in family life with blogging, tweeting, replying, vlogging etc but I found it just wasn’t for me.
Anyway, maternity leave sped by and now I am back to being a working mum. The culture shock of coming back to work hit me hard. I experienced a series of emotions about leaving my girls and knowing it was the last maternity leave I would have. The process of coming back to work was not what I have hoped for and I found it unexpectedly stressful which put somewhat of a cloud over my last couple of months at home. It was a shame as returning to work after my first maternity leave was a much easier experience.
I am over that now and getting on with being a working mum again. Strangely I now find myself having more time to do things like sit and write this blog. These times include lunch breaks at work, train journeys and evenings. While I am aware that more hours have not been added to my day it really does feel like I have more time. I think it is more that my mind set has changed and sitting in front of a computer in downtime no longer feels like wasted time. The girls are happily at nursery or with nanny so this half hour is mine to do what I want with – and right now it is for writing.
I still want to document my life with my children but I want to do it retrospectively and enjoy life in the here and now with them. I really just want to be a secret mummy blogger…