I don’t want another baby. Is that so hard to understand?

A few weeks back my youngest child turned two!  I spent the day making it as fun as possible for Miss I and hosting a big family BBQ to celebrate having that little lady in our lives.  Although I enjoyed it all I kept waiting for the pang of my ovaries aching wanting another baby in our lives – as this happened around the time Miss A turned two…

Since then I have been thinking about how I feel about having my second child turn two.  She really isn’t a baby anymore however she is ridiculously clingy to me.  At times being the only person she wants to cuddle is the best feeling ever but also seeing the look on her Dad’s face when she pushes him away and demands “No! Mummy!” really does break my heart a little.  When Miss A (baby number one) was two I remember thinking that I really wanted another baby in my life and I really believed having another baby was the right thing for all of us.  And I was right.  Miss I has been a total joy and Miss A is a brilliant big sister!  I really wanted Miss A to have a sibling and for them to be able to enjoy growing up together. Granted there are times they both drives me nuts…but I would not give them back for anything in the world.  Both of my girls are the best things I have ever done.  Although my year out travelling the world with my best friend is also pretty high up the list…!

Now Miss I has hit two I am massively aware that another baby is neither right for us nor do I have that maternal want for another child.  I get asked ALL the time: “When are you going to have another?” or “wouldn’t it be nice to have a boy?” I am 100% sure I do not want another child and if I ever did have another baby it would not be about trying to have a boy.  Why is it so hard for other people to understand?  And also, why do people keep asking me?  I am pushing 40 and have grown two pretty perfect babies in my tummy (have the scars to prove it!) therefore I believe my work there is done.

Mr C and I are lucky as we both had a child from our previous relationships and then we have Miss I together.  Therefore, we are the proud parents of three little girls.  When they are together there really isn’t a quiet moment and although sometimes I wish I could sit on the loo for a wee without one of them walking in to find me, I really wouldn’t change it for the world.  As they are getting older and able to play independently it is certainly getting easier not needing to occupy them every minute of the day.  Miss A would happily play for hours on her own with her dollies if we would let her.  She has an amazing imagination and loves making up stories and making clothes for her dolls.  I sometimes listen to her playing and chatting away.  There are times when she asks if we can just stay home so she can play with her toys and I realise that I don’t need to fill every moment of their days with activities.  Sometimes they just want to hang out and play.  We buy them so many toys that they really do need the time to play with them. Miss I is beginning to play independently but really only for a short time.  I hear “mummy’s turn!” constantly and I get to make a cup of tea in the toy IKEA kitchen for her.  She also loves to spend time with me whatever I am doing, be that sitting in the kitchen watching me cook or helping me sort washing (never really helps me – generally throws it around!).  Miss O is the sweet and thoughtful one.  She loves playing on her own and chatting away to herself.  I am not sure if she is watching Miss A and Miss O thinking “What the hell are you two doing?!” Miss O is used to being at home with just her mummy and does not have other siblings living with her so I often worry she may find her step sisters a little much!  The three of them generally play together really well but we have had to consider toys and ensure we have two or three of everything or the arguments’ start!  “I WANT TO PLAY WITH ELSA”, “I HAD THAT FIRST”  I am sure it is the same with all siblings but when you only have a step child stay every other weekend you really want to make it as happy and relaxed as possible.  Also one/two days every other week doesn’t really give you time to teach that sharing ethos to a three and five year old.

So after the excitement of Miss I’s second birthday has died down I am set on what is next for me and my little family.  I am going to focus on them and being the best possible mum I can be to them.  I don’t need anyone else to come and ‘complete’ us I just need this lot!  Oh and maybe a lottery win!


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