Next week I will be packing a bag for my five year daughter and waving her off as she goes on holiday for week with her dad. Her dad and I are not together but we have joint parental responsibility for her. Miss A lives with me and goes to see her daddy every other weekend.
This is the first time she has been on holiday with her dad for a week and they are going abroad. Everyone keeps asking me how I feel about it… Telling me that I must be dreading it and not happy about her leaving.
So here is how I feel about it…
I will miss that little girl every moment that she is gone and will count the sleeps until she gets back but I am also happy she is going. Why? Because every girl needs a strong relationship with their father and in order to do that she needs to have shared experiences with him and trust him to look after her for more than just a night or two. My relationship with her father came to an end but surely her relationship with him still needs to grow. I am not going to try to control it but I am going to support it. He adores her and I know he will not let any harm come to her.
When she is an adolescent I don’t ever want her to doubt her relationship with her dad. It is her first relationship with a man and I want it to be strong and secure. I don’t want her to think badly of her dad because that may mean she look badly on all men or it effect the relationships she makes moving forward.
My ex and I have had some pretty tough times together but I think we are in a good place now. We understand that what is important is our daughter. God, I am even taking them all to the airport! In the words of my bestie “Wow you are like the best ex ever!” but I am just taking my daughter to the airport because she needs a lift – she just happens to be going with her dad and his girlfriend. I plan to be a grown up about it and wish them a brilliant time together on holiday even if I then cry on drive back home from the airport.
So this half term is going to be strange and yes I will have times of sadness but also I feel positive that she is with her daddy and having a fantastic time in the sunshine!